Baby Deidara
by NintendoGal55
Summary: Stupid story about Deidara turning into a baby. Please don't read this.
1. Akatsuki Baby

**Baby Deidara**

**On the way back from an assignment, Deidara is confronted by a Ninja…who turns him into a little baby! What will the Akatsuki do now with a wee little baby who happens to be Deidara…with all his memories, yet unable to talk, barely walk, and boy can he cry.**

**Akatsuki-© Kishimoto Mashashi**

**Casana-© Me**

**Tay-© strength-91-possibility-none**

**Michelle- i-lurv-akatsuki from dA! Wanted to include her this time. :3**

**---**

_Not much further now. _Deidara thought, hopping down from the tree he'd been previously perched upon. _Damn Leader better be glad I got that scroll. Not that it was hard to get, of course._

As he walked on, he came to a stop in his tracks, sensing chakra nearby.

_Damn! I should've known it'd be too easy!_ Deidara thought, placing a hand into one of the clay backs strapped around his waist. "Show yourself, snoop, yeah!"

A male Ninja emerged from behind a tree, smirking. "Well, I may be a snoop, but at least I'm not a pathetic Akatsuki member who looks like a freakin' girl!!!"

Deidara glared hard and inserted some clay into his hand-mouth. "You're going to regret saying that pal…Don't _underestimate me or my art!_"

"I don't think so, loser! Hidden Jutsu: Bring Down To Size Life Element Jutsu!" The Ninja ran forward and touched the former Iwagakure nin in the chest.

"Agh!" Deidara yelped, faltering.

"Smell ya later!" The Ninja hurried away.

"Damn it, yeah!!" Deidara growled angrily. "Whatever. I'll just go back and forget that ever happened."

He continued on walking, sighing loudly and reminded himself to take a shower when he got back, that Ninja back there sure smelled like a disgusting pile of manure.

All of a sudden, looking about, all the trees seemed bigger.

"Huh, that's weird…why are the trees suddenly so big?" Deidara wondered. "In fact…why's the ground so close, yeah?"

Suddenly, in an instant, he seemed to fall down. Not in a way of falling from lost balance, but…down down. Like in height.

"Whoa!" He yelped as he seemed to shoot down into the ground. Now his cloak was so huge he could explore in it.

After a moment, he found himself on the ground. All the trees were so high, and the ground was REALLY close now. He lifted a hand…only to discover that it was tiny. Like a baby's hand! His ring had fallen off, so did his forehead protector. His sandals were like wearing giant's shoes on his now tiny feet, he still had his pants and shirt on, but they were tiny like he was. Feeling along his head, his ponytail was barely there, the lock of hair barely went past his eye, and the mouths on his hands were tightly closed.

Deidara opened his mouth to say something, and instead it came out as a gurgle. _What the __**hell happened?! I'm a baby!!!!! Just great! Thanks to that damn Ninja…I'm a stupid little baby!**_

He tried to stand up, but then fell back down on his little rump. He tried again, and fell down again.

_**Perfect, now I can't walk! God damn it...I have to get back the hideout, fast!**_

So, with no other choice, he began to crawl.

_The Akatsuki Hideout…_

"Hmm…" Pein murmured, pacing back and forth. "Where is that moron…"

"He must've been delayed, Pein." Konan said from nearby.

"Not likely, but whatever." Pein looked to the doorway. "CASANA!"

A few moments later, the said girl came in, standing before Pein. "Yes, Leader?"

"I want you to go and find Deidara, see what's taking him so long."

"Right!" Casana nodded, and then headed out of the cave.

"She better find him soon." Pein muttered to himself.

Konan sneezed.

_Somewhere off near the hideout…_

_**Damn! I'm nowhere near the hideout now!**_Deidara thought, still crawling along the ground. _Jeez, this is embarrassing! Thank God Casana or the others can't see me like this!_

Right then, up ahead, he noticed a familiar person. He could identify a black cloak with red clouds on it. Good! Someone was gonna find him! A closer look told him it was Casana.

_**God, I take it back! Thank you!**_ He thought. _**C'mon Casana…just a little closer now! C'mere, come see the baby!**_

Casana looked about the area, spotting nothing that came as Deidara. It was odd, he was never this late coming from a fairly easy assignment like this one!

"Jeez, where could he be?" She wondered out loud.

She then felt a small tug on her cloak.

"Eh?" She looked down, and saw an adorable little baby with blonde hair, a teeny ponytail, bright blue eyes, fair skin, and dressed in a cute little mesh shirt, dark pants, and barefoot. Instantly her heart went out to the little kid. "Awww!! Hello there, little guy! Where'd you come from?" She bent down and picked him up. "Are you lost? Where are your parents?"

Deidara opened his mouth to answer her, but again a soft gurgle came out. _**Damn it! I can't talk!!! Casana, use the Nentougan! PLEASE use the Nentougan! It's me! ME! Deidara!! It's me!**_

"You seem awfully happy to see me, cutie!" She smiled. "Well, since there's no sign of your parents, I'll take you back to the base for a while and look after you. Can't very well leave a little guy like you all alone, now can I?"

_**No! No way! Casana please use the Nentougan! It's me! Me! Me, my little turtledove!**_ Deidara begged inwardly. _**Damn!!! She can't hear me!**_

"Getting frisky, are we?" She giggled. "Are you hungry? Do you need to be changed? Well no worries, I'll manage when we get back. First, gotta go make sure it's all right with the Leader."

_**Nooooooo!!!**_ Deidara wailed inwardly.

_Back at the hideout…_

"So you're saying you just found the little baby?" Pein asked, eying Deidara suspiciously.

"Yes, and he doesn't appear to have any chakra, so it's not a Ninja in disguise or one sent to be a GPS." Casana said.

"AWWW!! SO CUUUUUUUTE!!"

_**Oh no…**_ Deidara groaned.

Tobi ran in when he saw Deidara, now a little baby. "He's so cuuuuuuuute!!!"

"Forget it. It might be a trap. Dispose of the brat." Pein said, turning away.

_**WHAT?!**_ Deidara thought.

"But Leader, why?! He's just a baby!" Casana protested.

_**Thank you, Casana. **_

"He could learn information of us. Just kill him." Pein reminded her.

_**What do think I am? A traitor?!**_

"He's just a baby!" Casana said. Then she smirked.

_**Oh boy…**_ Deidara thought. He knew that look.

"Although…if we do let him go, he may just grow up to remember us. And kids tell the truth." Casana said. "If we keep him and raise him to be one of us…it could be used to our advantage, don't you think?"

_**Casana I love you now!!...Well, not like I don't already.**_

Pein thought for a moment, and then sighed. "Very well. We'll do just that."

_Phew!_

"Who's going to take care of him?" Konan asked.

"Me! Me! Tobi will do it! He's so cute!!!" Tobi squealed, scooping Deidara up. "Right, baby?"

_**No no no no! Put me down, you idiot!!!**_ Deidara thought, thrashing about.

"Aww, look! He's having fun!" Tobi laughed.

"Tobi you're holding him wrong!" Casana warned.

_**That's it!**_Deidara thought. He hated to have to do this, but he had no choice. Opening his mouth, he let out the mother of all cries.

"Jesus!" Pein cried, covering his ears. "Make him stop!!!"

"Tobi! Give him to me!" Casana said, taking Deidara from Tobi. Immediately Deidara stopped his crying and snuggled into her.

_**Much better!**_He thought.

"Aw poopie." Tobi said sadly.

"Well…" Pein said, rubbing his ears. "I suppose you'll take care of him, Casana. He seems to like you the best. Fine then, he's your responsibility."

"No problem, Leader!" Casana nodded, and then headed out.

"Wait for me!" Tobi went after her.

_In the kitchen…_

"Okay then, little baby." Casana put Deidara on the table.

_**Why are you putting me on the table? I can sit in a chair!**_

"I'd put you on a chair, but I wouldn't want you to fall down!" She said, giggling.

…_**Oh, right, of course.**_

Casana went over to the fridge. "Lemme see…ah, here we go!" She took out a jar of applesauce. "You want some applesauce, little guy?"

_**Mmm…maybe I better nod! Then she'll know it's me!**_ Deidara nodded frantically.

"Ah, you understand me?" Casana came over with a spoon and bowl. "Wow, you must be smart!"

_**Yeah, if you've a man turned into a baby**_ The blonde thought.

She dipped the spoon into the apple sauce and held it to his mouth. "C'mon, eat up!"

_**Hmm…maybe I'll play with her a little**_ Deidara stared at the sauce and turned away from it.

"C'mon…open up! Down the hatch!" She said, pressing the spoon towards him. "C'mon cutie."

Deidara giggled and pushed it away. _**Ya know, this kinda fun!**_

"Open up, sweetie! Open up for the airplane!" She flew the spoon around a little, making airplane noises.

_Ok, that's it. Gimme before I end up eating clay! …Which I now must mention is absolutely disgusting. Bleggh…_ He opened his mouth and allowed the spoon to enter his mouth. _**Mmm…applesauce…**_

"Hey buddy!" Michelle greeted as she came into the kitchen. She noticed Deidara. "Awww!!! Where'd he come from? He's so cute!!!"

"Hi, Michelle! He's a little baby I found outside not far from here. I guess he was lost or abandoned…so I brought him in and I'm gonna look after him for a bit." Casana replied.

"Hey cutie!" Michelle cooed, offering two fingers for the little guy to play with.

…_**Wait, don't babies play with people's fingers?...Okay…well, that's kinda gross. But I guess her hands are clean.**_ Deidara took hold of one of Michelle's fingers, squeezing it.

She giggled. "He's so cute!! You know, he reminds me of Deidara, ya know? The eyes, his hair…looks a bit like him!"

"Really?" Casana eyed him. "Ya know…he really does! I didn't he had a baby brother!" She laughed.

_**A brother? I don't have a brother. …Do I?**_

"Maybe he does!" Michelle giggled.

"There he is!!!" Tobi cried happily, bursting into the kitchen. "Hello little guy! It's me! Uncle Tobi!"

_**Lovely. Now go away.**_ Deidara thought, turning away.

"Whoa! He acts like him too!" Michelle laughed.

"I guess Tobi has that effect on people." Said Casana. "No offense, Tobi."

"No worries! I think we'll get along just fine!"

_**Oh Jeez...this is gonna be a looooonng day. Or longer.**_


	2. Baby Time

**Baby Deidara**

**Well folks, here we are, with little baby Deidara…as he goes about his life…as a baby. XD**

**You know the disclaimer, maketh me not, sayeth it yet again…**

**---**

_That evening…_

"Okay little guy, I'm putting you to bed now!" Casana said, entering her Jungle room. "Hope you don't mind my room…"

_**What are you talking about? You know I like your room!**_ Deidara thought.

"Hmm…unfortunately we don't have a crib around here since neither of us have had a baby yet!" She laughed, and then gently put him down on the grass floor. "I'll set you up in a drawer or something…"

_**No way! I'm gonna sleep on your bed!**_ Deidara crawled over to the bed and tugged at the comforter, trying to climb up it.

"Oh, well why didn't you say so?" Casana laughed, lifting the little guy up and onto her bed. "Okay then, try not to fall! I think I have a pair of my brother's footsie pyjamas here…" She went over to her drawers and looked through them.

_**Her brother's footsie PJ's? Seriously? I haven't worn those kind of things since I was two!**_

"Ah yes, here they are!" She pulled out a pair of blue footsie PJ's with yellow stars and moons on them. "I kept them after my brother…was…well, anyway. I'm sure they'll fit you! Let's see if they fit, eh?"

_**Oh Jeez! That means I have to be naked in front of her?! I know I'm just a baby now…but still!**_

Then she paused, frowned slightly and looked off toward the ceiling, as if trying to remember something. "Oh…what are we gonna do for diapers…? I guess we could use newspaper for the time being…And then tomorrow I could run down to the store and get a few packs…"

_**D-diapers?! You're not serious are you? I don't need diapers!! I'm a grown man! …Well, not right now I'm not, but still!! No way am I wearing diapers again!**_

"Jeez, I guess it's true what they say that raising a baby, it takes a village!" She said out loud, chuckling. She went over and took the section of the newspaper she had sitting on her dresser and came over with it. "Okay little guy, this'll be your substitute for a while! Did you have an oopsie lately?"

_**An oopsie? Nooo, I would've known that by now.**_

"Well then little guy, I guess I should change you!" She scooped him up and headed into the bathroom. The counter had enough space to fit a baby there.

_**After being changed since I was born…I gotta get it done again!? God I hope I don't peen in her face!**_

Casana giggled and played with his tiny tootsies. "Okey-dokey little guy, here we go!" She slowly removed his pants. "Well well, you appear to be clean! Hold on, I think we've got talcum powder here…"

_**Oh jeez…here I am, a baby and naked in front of the woman I love! Ain't that just lovely?**_ Deidara thought sarcastically.

"Here we go!" She produced a bottle of it. "I think you'll manage till I grab some baby wipes too."

_**B-baby wipes?! Now she's gonna wipe my butt?! Jeez-Louise, why me?! …Well, at least it's her and not someone else around here. Thank God!**_

She took hold of his legs, held them up and shook the powder onto his bottom. "There we are! All clean! Now I'm just gonna put this diaper substitute on. It might be a bit itchy, but I think you'll be fine. Trust me, I know this from experience."

_**Say what?! You wore newspaper for diapers?! What were your parents thinking?!**_

Casana laughed. "Sometimes when we didn't have diapers around, they'd put a newspaper on me till they could get some. My family was pretty poor back on our farm in Airisu Valley…but luckily my parents had enough money for us to live on since they were Ninjas."

_**That sure explains why you reacted so weirdly when you saw our television.**_ Deidara thought, recalling the memory.

"Yeah, our family was poor." She murmured, applying the newspaper on like a diaper. "But…there was always love in our house."

_**And yet the damn demons took it away from you. Damn them!!!! **_

"There we go, little guy!" She announced. "You got a diaper! At least for now till I get you some good ones! C'mon baby, it's time for bed now!"

_**And here we go again.**_

Casana brought the little guy back to her room, where she tugged on the blue PJ's. Luckily they fit all right.

"There we go! They fit you good!" She stood back and admired it. "Yeah…a real mini Deidara all right! He'd totally love you! I can just see 'im right now! 'Hey little guy! You look just like me! Well allow me to teach you the awesomeness of art! Art is a bang, yeah!'" She added in her best, or worst imitation. She laughed. "Sorry, I suck at his incredibly sexy voice. Bear with me!"

_**Nonsense! That was funny! And I would say that. You nailed it!...Wait, SEXY VOICE?! Whoa, I did not know my voice was sexy! …Is it? Well, I guess now that I look back…maybe?**_

She sat on the bed and ruffled his hair. "You should've heard his voice when he was a kid! It was so cute! He sounded like this." She then changed to a high pitched squeaky voice. " 'Art is a bang! Whee! C'mon Casa-chan, let's go to the park!'"

_**Oh jeez, I remember those days. I sounded like a little girl!**_

"But then soon as his voice broke out…oh my God…I just _melted_! It was so drop-dead sexy, I thought I was going to go crazy! I never told him that, of course. It's too embarrassing. Don't tell him I said that, okay?" She said with a laugh.

_**She thinks my voice is sexy and never told me??? Damn, if I'd had known that, I probably would've used it to make her melt to the ground!**_ Deidara thought. He would've laughed if he could laugh properly. _**Okay Casana, I won't tell me that you think my voice is sexy. Heh heh…well now that I know, I'm sure gonna have some fun when I get back!**_

Casana then stood and took out her pink Winnie the Pooh pyjamas. "Heh heh…yeah, I do wear these. If any of my enemies ever found out, they'd be pissing their pants laughing!" She laughed and went into the bathroom to change.

_**Damn it! …Well, I guess I can see why. It's indecent for a nearly grown woman to be naked in front of a little baby. …Even if the baby happens to not really be a baby.**_

She emerged from the bathroom, put her clothes aside, and got onto the bed. Deidara crawled over to her, looking up at her.

She giggled. "You know kid…I think I'll call you Dei. After all, you remind me of Deidara so much!"

_**Dei? I remind her of me? There's a novelty!**_

"Deidara…" She suddenly looked a bit sad. "I hope he's okay…he's been gone for nearly three days now. Assignments like that don't take so long…and he's done it a thousand times. I'm kinda worried…"

_**What?! Casana gets worried about me when I'm gone? No, no, Casana, please don't be worried! I'm here, it's okay!**_ Deidara took hold of her finger with his tiny hand in comfort.

"Aww…" She smiled a little bit. "Thanks, Dei. Sorry, I guess even an S-Ranked Missing Nin like me can get worried…heh, ain't that just lovely? I shouldn't be so selfish…but I can't help it! I get worried when he's gone, every time he comes back safe and sound, I get so relieved. I'm just scared one day he won't make it…"

_**You're not selfish! Don't say that! I want you to want me around! It's sweet, ya know? You're only human! Damn it…where am I when she needs me?!**_

"He usually writes a letter when he's gonna be gone longer." She murmured, and then looked toward her window. "Whenever he's gone and I'm here, I just wait. Wait for when he comes back and holds me in his arms and assures that he's okay. That's the best part of the day he comes back, Dei."

_**She loves it when I do that? The best part? No wonder I do it all the time! Gee, here I thought I knew everything about her…**_

She reached over to the bedside table and brought over one of the framed photographs. (Remember the photo from my "Back To The Future" fic? That's it!)

"That's him." She said, pointing at the photo, holding it for the little guy to see. "This is an old photo of us from a couple years ago…before he joined the Akatsuki and I did too." She chuckled. "I remember those days. I was so in love with him too. Ever since we were young…and I only realized it that one night he looked into my eyes…and then I knew."

_**Wow…ironic, eh? We were both in love during all that time. Looks like we discovered it practically at the same time too!**_

"Ya know…I never told him how I felt. I wanted to, but I was scared. He was my best friend, he was always there for me and did everything he could to make me feel safe. I was so scared of ruining our friendship and bond if I came out and said I was in love with him. So…I kept silent. I owe him so much…he was there for me since the day he found me in the park."

_**Don't say that! You don't owe me anything! You being happy and safe and alive is all I want! And I wish you'd had said something…we could've dated! Then again, I shouldn't be talking, I was too scared to tell her I loved her too. Stupid me.**_

She ruffled his hair, chuckling slightly. "Apparently…he felt the same way. Because on the day…he-he had to leave to join…he said he loved me…and even if that was the worst day of my life, it was also the best. I said I loved him too…and then we kissed for the first time. Then, he left."

_**I remember that day…it still haunts me! But yeah, it was my best day, and worst. …Other than the days I perfected my art, of course.**_

She sighed and put the photo back on the bedside table, a few tears running down her face.

_**Oh no!! No! Please don't cry!**_ He hated to see her cry, especially at his expense. _**It might look like I'm out there making art…but it's not art if it makes you cry! C'mon, don't cry! I hate it when you cry! Especially if it's me making you cry!**_

"I-I'm sorry, Dei." Casana wiped her tears with her pyjama sleeve. "I just get so worried when he's gone and when I look back at our times before now."

_**Don't be sorry, Casana-chan! It's okay! I understand how you feel! I get worried when you're gone and I'm here! I wait for you outside everyday! No one knows that, though! Don't tell anyone!**_

"C'mon little buddy, let's go to sleep." She murmured, getting under the covers, bringing Deidara in there too.

_**Ironic, this is like the times we'd sleep in the same bed together. Only this time…she's got me in HER arms. Well, guess I can't complain! Could be worse! Mm…this is nice.**_ He snuggled into her, inhaling her scent.

She held him protectively to her, another tear going down her face.

"Deidara…" She murmured, closing her eyes. "I love you..."

_**Aww, don't cry, my little turtledove! I love you too!**_

Soon enough, they fell right asleep.

The next morning

"Hey! We're back!" Tay announced as she, Kisame and Itachi walked in.

"Hey guys!" Casana looked up from mixing applesauce with some strawberry sauce.

Itachi stared at Deidara, who was sitting on the table playing with play dough. "What is that fat pink thing?"

_**Fat? Pink! Thing?! Can't you tell that I'm a baby?! I bet he doesn't even know I'm a boy!**_

"Itachi! Don't be rude!" Casana scolded.

"Awwww!! He's so cute!!!" Tay cooed. "Where'd he come from?"

"I found him in the forest yesterday, I think the little guy was lost! So I took him in and I'm gonna look after him for a while." Casana explained.

"Heeey kiddo, you remind me of Deidara!" Kisame laughed, stroking his hair.

_**Gee, surprise, surprise.**_

"That's what I said too!" Casana said.

"Yeah, come to think of it, he does have quite a resemblance! Wow!" Tay giggled.

_**So when are you guys gonna get smart and figure out that it's me?!**_

"Hn, I bet it will turn out to be just as moronic as that dumb idiot." Itachi muttered.

"Shut up, you weasel!" Tay glared. "That's not fair!"

"Fair's fair, it's just a little kid, it won't care."

_**It?! Jeez! Aren't you supposed to be nice to babies? Oh wait. Reality check, Deidara, the damn Uchiha has no heart at all!**_

"Don't listen to him Dei, he's a moron." Casana said.

"I heard that, Kusabana."

When he turned his back, Casana made a face and gave him the finger.

Deidara giggled. _**Nice one! I'll have to remember to do that.**_

Later…

"Here you go, baby!" Michelle said sweetly, feeding the little guy some applesauce,

_**Hee hee!**_ Deidara grinned and spat it back out.

"Didn't like that one, did he?" Tay said. "When's Casana gonna get back with those diapers…" She then tried to feed a little grape baby food. "C'mon baby, this is yummy! Open up the goalie for the soccer ball!"

_**Mmm…I do like that baby food! …But this is fun! **_He spat it back out again.

"C'mon baby, eat up!" Michelle coaxed.

"Eugh, look! Some comin' out of his nose again!" Tay pointed.

"Dearie me…" Michelle murmured. "C'mon baby, eat the food! It's good tasting and good for you!"

_**Hello? I have a name! Call me Dei, since it's my apt baby nickname now!**_

"Hi girls!" Tobi said, coming into the kitchen. "Ooh! Feeding the baby?! Can I do it too?!"

_**No, no, no and no! Keep away, Tobi! No way! You'll just get it ON me instead of IN me!**_

"I don't know Tobi…you can be pretty messy." Tay said, uncertain.

"You might get it ON him instead of IN him." Michelle pointed out.

"Please, I'll be fine! Watch!" Tobi took a spoon of grape jelly and held to Deidara's mouth. "Eat up now!"

Deidara stared at the spoon and at Tobi. _**You seriously expect me to be fed by you? I don't think so!**_

"He doesn't look too happy…" Said Tay.

"He's fine, don't worry!"

Casana then came into the kitchen with a few bags and boxes of things. "I'm back! I got a few diaper packs and a few other things. How's the little guy?"

_**Saved!! I love you!**_

"Trying to feed him, but maybe he doesn't want it?" Tobi turned away from the table.

"Maybe." Casana went over to the table. "Hello Dei, you miss me?"

_**Well I don't know, maybe? The point is, you saved me!! I hug you for that! Now c'mere and pick me up since I can't walk!**_He held his arms out to her.

"Ah, you want me to pick you up? Ok!" She picked him up and he snuggled into her.

"Awww! He must really like you!" Michelle cooed.

Sasori entered the kitchen and noticed Deidara. "Um…Casana-san, is there something you want to tell us?"

Casana rolled her eyes. "It's not what you think, Sasori-danna. I found this little guy out in the forest yesterday, he was lost, and so I took him in for a while."

"Huh, could've fooled me. Thought maybe you two had a baby, which wouldn't make any sense." Sasori said, looking for sandpaper.

Casana blushed, Tay giggled, and Michelle let out a small squeal.

_**Us? Have a baby? Well, I always did want to! But why would Sasori-danna think I was…well, my and her son? Do I look like me that much?**_

"Even if it's impossible now, I wouldn't be surprised!" Michelle said.

"When it comes to you, I'm sure." Sasori smiled and kissed her on the cheek before exiting.

"That's for sure!" Said Tay with a laugh.

_**For once, I agree with you, Sasori-danna.**_

Later on, the living room…

"Hn, it's you again." Itachi said, coming into the room.

_**Yes it's me again. Got a problem with that? **_Deidara thought. He was on the floor in front of the TV, watching cartoons and playing with toys. _**Jeez, even to babies he's an asshole.**_

"Itachi, leave Dei alone." Casana said, who was sitting on the sofa.

_**Yeah Itachi, leave me alone.**_

"Whatever." Itachi took a book from the bookshelf and headed out.

Casana sighed and shook her head. "Jeez-Louise, would it kill him to be nice for a change?"

_**It ain't possible since the damn bastard has no heart at all.**_ Deidara thought.

"Anyway," Casana looked down and smiled. "You can't walk, can you?"

_**Well unless you recall ever seeing me walk, then no, I can't.**_

"Well little guy, let's fix that then." She stood from the couch and kneeled in front of him, gently taking his tiny hands. "Upsie-daisy…" She stood him up and gently had 'im walk a couple steps to be steady.

_**Now I have to learn how to walk again? Jeez…**_

Casana let go and moved back a few steps. "C'mon Dei, walk over to me. You can do it!"

Deidara tried to walk toward her, but his little baby legs refused to cooperate and he fell down on his behind.

She laughed and went over to stand him up again. "That's okay cutie, just try it again!"

"Having fun?" Tay said, looking over the couch at the two of them.

"Yeah, just trying to teach the little guy how to walk…and so far, no success." Said Casana.

_**No kidding, stupid little tiny legs of mine…**_

"It happens!" Said Tay. "It took my parents nearly two months to get me to walk!"

"I walked when I was 9 months old." said Casana.

_**Mm, what a smart baby. **_

"Well hey, kids develop at different rates. Don't they say that resistance is a sign of an analytical mind?" Said Tay.

_**Say what?! Analytical? Where's a dictionary when you need one?!**_

"I don't know…do you think?" Casana wondered.

"Who knows?" Tay shrugged.

Meanwhile…

"Just a quick search around the area…" Michelle told herself. She looked at Sasori. "Find anything?"

"Nope." Sasori replied. "He's probably not around here."

"You could be right…but Pein wants us to check just in case, I guess."

"Mmm…" Sasori walked further down, and then something on the ground caught his eye. "Uh-oh…Michelle, you might want to come look at this."

"What is it?" Michelle came up beside him and looked. Her eyes widened. "Oh no…"


	3. Deidara might be dead and bath time

**Baby Deidara**

**It's come to my attention that I should mention, YES, this fic was inspired by the fic "Sasuke's a BABY!" by xxxsailorstarxxx. I know I used some lines from it and all, but I credit her fic for this one. I apologize for not mentioning that before.**

**---**

"Sweetheart, can you say my name?" Casana giggled at Deidara, who was playing with some play-dough and looking up at her. "Casana."

Deidara opened his mouth to answer, but a soft gurgle came out. _**Damn it! I still can't speak! C'mon Deidara, you know how to say her name! **_

"Ca-sa-na…" She said slowly.

"Na…" Deidara gurgled.

"Cass-san-nah..." Casana pronounced slowly. "C'mon sweetie, Cass-san-nah…"

_**I give you credit for trying, sweetheart. But it ain't working for me now! **_

Before she could go on, there was a knock at the door. "Yeah?"

The door opened and Sasori walked in, looking grim. Michelle was behind him, looking sad.

"Oh, hi Sasori-danna, Michelle! Did you find anything?" Casana inquired.

"Well, no, but…we thought you'd want to see this." Sasori said softly, handing her the items he was holding.

"Eh?" She went over and took the stuff, her eyes widened.

It was Deidara's cloak, shirt, pants, sandals, ring, forehead protector, and hair tie.

"We're sorry…" Michelle murmured, on the verge of crying.

"We'll leave you two alone, ok?" Sasori gave her a comforting pat on the shoulder and then he and Michelle left, shutting the door.

_**Hey! Those are my clothes and stuff! They found them! Fantastic! Maybe now they'll catch on and-…Casana? Are you okay?**_

Casana sat back down on the bed, her face was buried in the cloak, clothing and items she was holding, her shoulders shaking.

Crawling over to her, Deidara saw that she was crying.

"Deidara…no….how can this be…no…" She sobbed softly into the items.

_**Oh no!!! She thinks I'm dead!!! No no no! Casana, I'm here! I'm alive! It's okay! Don't cry! Please don't cry! **_He went over and tugged on her own cloak to get her attention.

She sniffled and turned her face to look down at him. "I-I'm sorry Dei…I'm just so upset now…Deidara's gone…"

_**No no! I'm not gone! I'm right here! Please don't cry, my little turtledove! I didn't go and I'm not going to be going anywhere anytime soon! Please don't cry…it's okay!**_

"D-Deidara…why'd you have to go…why…?" Casana sobbed.

_**Maybe I better let you cry for a bit…here, let me hold you, like I usually do, okay? It's okay love, I'm here for you…even if you don't know it.**_

Casana continued to sob and cry broken-heartedly into the cloak. Deidara climbed onto her lap and gave her a little hug as best as he could.

_In the living room…_

"Hey guys, what's the verdict?" Kisame asked Sasori and Michelle as they came in.

"I'm afraid…all we found were Deidara's clothes and items…" Sasori said grimly.

"Oh no!!" Tay cried. "You mean he's…?"

"I'm afraid so." Sasori replied.

"Oh no…" Tay started to cry herself. Kisame brought her into a comforting hug and whispered soothingly into her ear.

"I can't believe it…" Kisame muttered. "Deidara had to go…"

"Neither can I." Sasori agreed.

Michelle was crying now. Sasori hugged her gently and let her cry on his shoulder.

Itachi heard everything from the doorway, surprised. _Deidara…died? Wow, I didn't expect that to happen so soon._

Word began to get around that Deidara was…well, gone.

"SEMPAI!! NOOO!!!" Tobi sobbed into Zetsu's chest.

"**Big deal…who cares.** Shh shh, it's okay Tobi, it's okay…" Said Zetsu, stroking Tobi's spiky hair.

"Damn stupid &$ idiot had to go get himself killed, didn't he?! Thanks to him everyone's turned into &#$ wusses!!" Hidan whined.

"Shut up. You know you miss him too." Kakuzu muttered, counting his money.

_Pein's Office…_

Pein couldn't believe what he'd just heard. "Damn it. Now Deidara's dead, and I'm gonna have a few emotional wrecks on my hands! Fantastic."

Konan sighed and shook her head. "Not much we can do about that. They're only human."

"Yeah but we're Akatsuki! We're ruthless, deadly, and the most wanted Criminals in Japan! Not a bunch of emotional, teary, stupid and silly blubbering cry-babies!"

Konan only shrugged. "Oh well."

_**Shh, it's okay, Casana! I'm here, don't worry! **_Deidara stood up on her lap as best as he could and laid a little kiss on her cheek.

Casana smiled sadly through her tears and ruffled his hair. "Thank you, Dei. That was sweet of you."

_**Well you needed it now, and you know I do that when you cry!**_

"At least…he's gone to a better place." She sniffled. "Watching over all of us and living it up…"

_**Don't say that!! I'm still alive! Curse you, stupid Ninja for making my little turtledove cry and think I'm dead! I'll kill you after I return to normal! Just you wait! And…Casana-chan don't worry, I'm still here! I'll be back to normal hopefully soon, and then I'll be able to hold you in my arms and tell you it's all okay! Just wait love, just wait!**_

She wiped her tears away and sighed. "Well Dei…looks like it's just you and me then, until you're back with your parents…that is, if you have some now."

_**Well I do have parents back home…but the Baby Dei here doesn't! No way, you're the only one who can play Mom with me! …Well, okay, I guess Michelle or Tay and even Sasori-danna can do it too, but you know.**_

"Sorry again little guy for all that crying…I just miss him so much…" More tears began to run down her face. "Deidara's gone…the only man I've ever loved…the one guy who means more to me than anyone in the world…is gone…gone!"

_**Awww…you're so sweet, but I'm still here! Don't worry! I'm never going to leave you! Please hear me!! I love you, and I'm still here! Always!**_

Casana wiped a few tears away and looked back at him, then blinked, the look in his eyes reminded her of… "…Deidara…?"

_**What? Did you just say that to me? Yes! Yes! It's me, Casana! Can you see it now? It's me!!!**_

"Wow…amazing, you've got that same kind of look Deidara sometimes has…cute." She smiled a little and ruffled his hair.

_**Damn it!!!! God, what do I have to do as a baby to prove it's me?! **_He looked at his hand, but the hand-mouth was tightly closed, not quite developed. Then he remembered, his Mother had once said that they hadn't properly developed until he was three.

_**Damn! There's nothing I can do now…**_

Casana sighed slightly and fell back on her bed. Deidara then got an idea, and got up onto her, straddling on her stomach. She smiled and reached over to hold his tiny hands. "Aww, you're sweet little guy. Thanks for trying to cheer me up."

_**Hey c'mon, you know I love you and I hate to see you sad! …Besides, this is nice! Whee! **_He giggled.

"Hey, you like this, eh? Well aren't you a fun little baby!" She sat up and balanced the little guy on her knee. "Wanna go for a horsey ride?"

_**Horsey? I'm not a baby! …Well, okay, I am now, but I hadn't had this done since I was two! And I-hee hee! This is fun! Whee!**_

They both giggled as the bouncing went along.

Later that day…

"Hey there, little goober!" Michelle greeted as she came into the room. She seemed to be feeling somewhat better.

_**Goober? What, do I look like a goober or something?**_ Deidara was on the living room floor, playing with blocks, little figurines and play dough. He had on a cute little blue sweater, corduroy pants, and cute little yellow booties.

Michelle sat on the couch and watched him play. "Ya know kiddo, you really do remind me of Deidara so much; it's incredible!"

_**Quelle surprise…**_

"But I guess it's a coincidence." She shrugged. "It's so sad he's gone, though."

_**I guess it would be kinda sad to some of you.**_

"Hey you two." Tay entered the living room, carrying her soccer ball.

"Hey Tay, just talking to the little goober."

They both giggled.

"He's a goober all right!"

_**Great, so now I'm gonna be the little baby goober?**_

"Hey wait, shouldn't he get a bath?" Tay wondered.

_**B-bath?!**_

"Bath, you say?" Casana asked, coming into the room. "Ya know, I think the little goober needs one!"

_**No no no no no no!!!!**_

"Have fun!" Tay giggled. "I don't think he wants to!"

"No surprise there." Michelle agreed.

"C'mon Dei, it's bath time!" Casana cooed, picking him up and heading to the bathroom in her room.

_**No way!! I don't want a bath!! I shower!! No bath! No no no no!**_

"Heh heh, you're just like Deidara, as a kid he hated bath time! Tell you what, I'll take one with you."

_**Into the tub we go!**_

In the bathroom…

"Here we go, little guy." Casana turned off the water, then pulled off his shirt. "Ready for a bath?"

_**Since we're taking it together, yes!**_

She giggled and undressed him, then peeled off her own clothes. Deidara stared with interest as she stripped.

_**Heh heh…I can watch her get naked without her knowing…awesome!**_

"Having fun watching, Dei?" She teased. "Well in you go!"

Casana picked him up and into the tub he went!

_**Ooh! Nice! **_

She giggled and climbed in too, bringing over a couple of toy boats she'd bought earlier that day. "Here you go!"

_**And toy boats too? Well, I guess. I've got nothing better to do anyway. …Other than that ogling your body of course…**_

That was an upside.

"You play there, and I'll wash your hair." She said, gently rubbing some shampoo onto his scalp.

_**Mmm…that feels good…I forgot how good it felt to have someone wash your hair. **_Deidara thought, melting into the bliss. _**Maybe we should wash each other's hair more often after this.**_

"Ah, you like this, don't you?" Casana giggled, scrubbing his hair. "No wonder. It feels so nice to have someone wash your hair, doesn't it?"

_**Why does she insist on talking to me when she knows I can't answer? Ah, I guess it's just in her nature to be nice to everything. Such a sweet gal.**_

She stood, took the shower nozzle, turned it on, set it to a gentle setting, and proceeded rinsing the shampoo out of his hair.

"You might want to close your eyes little buddy. In case shampoo gets into your eyes. And trust me, it ain't fun."

_**You can say that again!**_ He closed his eyes and allowed her to slowly rinse his hair. _**Rinsing feels nice too…mm…**_

She hummed a little as she worked, rinsing and stroking his wet hair. Then she sang out what she was humming. "_I never had a dream come true…till the day that I found you…_"

Deidara's eyes popped open. _**Th-that's our song!!! **_

She looked down at him and giggled sheepishly. "Sorry Dei, that's just…" She looked a bit sad again. "The song Deidara and I share…our song…"

_**Aww, she's getting sad again! Please don't be sad…**_

She sniffled a bit, turned off the nozzle and returned it to its holder. "I'm sorry little guy…every time I think…I get…" She started to cry a little.

Deidara then made his way to her through the water, got onto her lap and hugged her…while "accidentally" brushing hands tiny hands against her breasts.

She smiled and hugged him back. "Thank you buddy…I needed a hug."

_**Anything for you, my little turtledove.**_

"You know, speaking of our song…sometimes Deidara would call in to a radio station back in our village, and have them play the song…it was so sweet…" She murmured.

_**Well of course! It's our song, and I know how much it means to us!**_

The brunette sighed and kissed his forehead. "Oh little guy…I miss him so much…"

_**I can imagine so. Wow, so this is what it's like if I was dead. Man I better get back to normal soon!!! I don't want my little turtledove suffering!**_

"Anyway…" She took a bar of soap. "I'm gonna wash you up now!"

_**Oh boy. Just try not to do too much on my…well, ya know.**_

Afterward

"Okay Dei, out we go!" She got out, took a towel and wrapped the little guy in it. "There we go!"

_**Heh heh, I remember this all right. **_

She went over to the counter and proceeded to put on a fresh diaper.

_**Even if I gotta wear diapers.**_


	4. Dreams Problems and Scrabble

**Baby Deidara**

**Deidara, still a little baby, faces distress when Tobi is put to the job…of BABYSITING him! Could his situation get any worse? Probably not. But what could Casana be hiding that makes Deidara insane?**

Close to nearly two weeks have passed since the whole ordeal started. Deidara was now used to being a baby, but still disliked it. But what he hated the most was that everyone thought he was dead and how it made Casana cry uncontrollably a few times a day. Sometimes even at night before they'd fall asleep.

Especially on this particular night.

Casana, who had changed into her pink Snoopy pajamas, was sitting on the bed, crying broken-heartedly into Deidara's cloak, clutching it tightly. Deidara was sitting beside her, all dolled up in her brother's footsie PJ's, snuggling against her, almost ready to cry himself.

_**Curse that shit head piece of garbage ninja to the fiery depths of HELL! He has so much nerve to make my little turtledove suffer! **_

"Oh Deidara…" Casana sobbed into the cloak. "I love you so much…please come back…"

_**I'm here, Casana! I'm right here! It's okay! After I get back to normal I'm never going to leave you again! Ever! Please hear me! I love you! I love you! I love you more than life itself! …And more than my art! …Wait, was that too far? Oh who cares?! Never mind! I'll think about that later. The point is I love you and I will come back to you! **_

She lifted her face from the cloak and looked down at him. Her face was wet with tears, her eyes were red-rimmed all bloodshot, and they seemed to have lost their once piercing ocean blueness, and were now dulled to a shade of gray.

"Oh Dei, I'm so so sorry…I can't help it. I love him so much…" She sniffled.

_**Hey c'mon, I'd feel the same way if I thought you were dead! Please don't cry, I'm here, it's okay! God if only she'd use the Nentougan, then our problems will be over!**_

"C'mon Dei, let's get to bed. Tomorrow's another day." She settled under the covers, hugging his cloak tightly as if it would fly away if she let go.

_**Good idea. **_He snuggled up to her and they seemed to hold each other, like before.

_Casana's Dream/Flashback…_

_There was joyous laughter echoing among the training ground fields. It was sunset, putting an end to another gorgeous day._

_Casana, who was 14 at the time, cut across the grass, giggling and laughing as Deidara chased after her, who was around 15. _

"_You can't catch me!!" She taunted, laughing._

"_We'll see about that!" Deidara yelled back, laughing too. He sped up._

_Soon on he caught up to her and the two of them fell to the ground, laughing and all tangled up. Soon they stopped, Deidara was on top of her, and they lay for a couple of minutes, getting their heart rates back to normal._

_After some time Deidara rose a little and looked down at her. She was so cute! Her face was flushed, her cheeks were a lovely shade of pink, she had a joyous sparkle in her gorgeous eyes, and some of her hair was plastered to her face. He could feel his heart pounding rapidly in his chest, feeling so in love with her right then. He wanted nothing more than to kiss her right then and there, but he knew he couldn't, there's no way she'd want it._

_Casana looked up into his luscious baby blue eyes, and he too looked just too cute! His cheeks were also bright pink, wisps of his golden hair stuck to his face, and there was a warm, sweet sparkle in his eyes. Her heart pounded wildly within her chest. She wanted to pull this adorable boy down and kiss the living daylights out of his lips, but she knew she shouldn't, he wouldn't want it._

"_You look so cute." He finally said._

"_Heh, and so do you!" She said in return._

_They both laughed and sat up, she seated into his lap and he held her close. They sat like that a lot whenever they'd just sit together and relax. If anyone saw, they'd think they were dating and in love, but no, to these two, it was just too very close best friends who happened to like sitting in one another's arms._

_Deidara sighed in content and wrapped his arms around her a little tighter, laying his chin against her head._

"_Comfortable?" Casana asked, breaking the silence._

"_Mm, yeah. With you, you know it." Deidara murmured._

_She smiled and placed one of her hands over his, gently squeezing, sighing happily._

'_I love her so much…' Deidara thought._

'_I love him so much…' Casana thought._

_They sat like that for hours, and when night rolled in, they lay upon the hill, holding each other and stargazing._

End of dream/flashback…

Deidara shot awake, panting a bit.

_**Whoa…was that her dream? Was I seeing her dream? Wow. Heh, boy do I remember those days all right. **_

Casana stirred lightly, her brow knitted in a frown.

"Ngh…D-Deidara…no…" She said.

_**Oh no! Is she having a nightmare???**_

Without another thought, he snuggled a bit closer and kissed her on the nose and caressed her cheek with his tiny hand. He'd do that whenever he'd wake up in the middle of the night and she'd be having a nightmare.

She visibly relaxed, a light smile crossing her face.

_**Phew! There we go! That's my girl. **_

"Mm…D-Deidara…" She uttered softly.

_**Is she dreaming about me again? What about this time?**_

"Mmm…oh…yeah…d-don't stop…" She moaned.

Deidara's eyes widened.

"That's…so good…aah…so good…"

Now he felt about ready to have a nosebleed.

_**I-is she dreaming about…oh God.**_

Even as a baby, he could feel his little buddy popping up.

"Mmm…more Deidara…that's the spot…" She rolled onto her back, clutching the covers. "Aah…yeah…"

_**Oh my GOD! She's dreaming about us…oh my God! Whoa! D-does that mean she wants me?**_

He just HAD to see what she was dreaming of.

"Ngh…aah…yeah…that's so good…aaahh…yes…" She moaned in her sleep.

_**Jeez, if I wasn't a baby, I'd wake her up and have my way with her!**_

He touched her arm, and slowly fell asleep. Maybe he'd get into her dream again.

The dream…

_For some reason, they were in the middle of a jungle in Africa. In a treehouse…and inside, they seemed to be getting intimate._

_Casana was in a sexy safari outfit, Deidara wore nothing but his cloak, they were on the mattress, kissing like crazy._

"_Oh Deidara…" She moaned softly as he moved to kiss along her neck. "I love you…"_

_Deidara rose up and smiled. "I love you too…"_

End of dream…

Deidara shot awake again.

_**Oh my GOD! She's dreaming about us…doing it in the Jungle! Wow. This makes me want her so much more…**_

He went back to sleep again, making sure to touch her arm as he did. Her dreams were certainly appealing.

_The next day…_

"Everyone listen up!" Pein announced to everyone as they sat around in the meeting room. "We're all going to embark on this mission, since it'll require all our strength."

"What's the deal?" Michelle wanted to know.

"An incredibly power, forbidden scroll is said to be sealed away in this underground temple that lies somewhere east from here. It'll take all of us to get to it and retrieve it, it's supposedly heavily guarded as well." Pein explained.

Everyone oohed and ahhed.

"Sounds neat!"

"Wow."

"Hn, whatever."

"I'm intrigued!"

"But Pein…" Casana said. "I can't go! I have to take care of-"

"We'll need you for this one, Casana. No arguments."

She opened her mouth to protest but then closed it. There was no use arguing.

"I'll baby-sit him for you, Casana-senpai!" Tobi offered.

Deidara, who was on Casana's lap, looked repulsed. _**No! No no no no and NO! Not happening!**_

Casana hesitated. "I don't know Tobi…he hasn't been very responsive to you…"

"I can do it! Tobi is a good boy! Please?"

_**Oh God no!! Please Casana-chan my sweet and awesome little turtledove, don't leave me alone with him!**_

"Well…" She bit her lip. "Okay, I guess I ain't got no other choice."

_**NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! **_

"Yay! It's settled then!" Tobi cheered.

Everyone sweat-dropped.

"We'll be leaving in an hour, so get ready everyone!" Pein announced.

_Later on…_

Everyone was getting ready to leave, piling outside through the entrance.

"C'mon Casana, we better hurry!" Tay called to her as she waited by the entrance.

"Coming!" Casana called back to her. She kneeled down in front of Deidara, who looked like he didn't want her to go. "Now you be a good boy for Uncle Tobi while I'm gone, okay? I'll be back as soon as I can."

_**You better be! Gaaah, why'd you leave me alone with him?! Why'd you let me down and…oh, who am I kidding, I love you too much, I could never be mad at you like that, it's not your fault!**_

"Be good, Dei." She kissed his cheek and forehead and stood, turning to Tobi. "Remember Tobi, if ever you're faced with a situation you can't handle, contact me immediately and I'll rush back here."

"Okay, Casana-senpai!" Tobi promised.

She smiled, waved and headed toward the entrance where Tay was waiting.

"Well little guy, it's just you and Uncle Tobi!" Tobi lifted the little blonde up.

_**Oh joy. While you're at it dump me in the nearest lake so that I'll REALLY be dead.**_ Deidara thought, staring at the masked idiot.

"Hee hee! You remind me of senpai the way you're looking at me! C'mon, let's go have some fun!"

_**NOOOOOOO!!!!! PUT ME DOWN, YOU MORON!! CASANA SAVE MEEEEEE!!! DX**_

_Meanwhile, thousands of miles away… _(Not literally.)

"We're almost there, guys!" Kisame called out to everyone. "We'll stop here for a while and take a break."

There were two groups in pursuit of the underground temple, Pein took one group, and Kisame was in charge of the other.

"Phew, I'm bushed!" Tay collapsed onto the ground, sitting up. She turned to her best friend. "Hey, you hungry? I have a few granola bars and crackers in my pack."

"No thanks, I'm cool." Casana replied, sitting down too.

Tay frowned. "Casana, you haven't eaten anything decent in over a week! I think you're becoming anorexic or something."

"Don't be silly! I'm just not hungry."

"Please, I've noticed the way you've avoided food like the plague almost. Casana, I'm worried about you. You might be starving yourself, all because of your grieving. It's not going to help, all you're doing is shutting your organs down."

A few tears ran down her face and she looked away and toward the ground. "I can't help it Tay…I don't know what to do…"

Tay understood, and gave her a hug.

"STOP BEING A &# CRYBABY!!!"

"SHUT UP, HIDAN!"

_Back at the hideout…_

"Ready to play, little guy?" Tobi quipped.

_**NO!**_

They were in the living room right now. Tobi was on the couch, and Deidara was on the floor, surrounded by his toys.

"You're cute, kid! You're good at glaring! Practicing facial expressions?"

_**Oh, I'm practicing all right. I'm practicing how to BLOW A WHOLE IN YOUR STUPID HEAD!**_

Tobi leaned back on the sofa. "When's everyone gonna come back? And I wonder what they'll do about Casana-senpai's problem something?"

_**P-problem? What problem? Is she okay? Or is it that she's crying too much?**_

Tobi turned to Deidara. "Don't tell anyone kid, but she hasn't eaten anything in a while. No wonder the cookies were still around!"

_**WHAT?!!?! CASANA HAS AN EATING DISORDER?!!?!?!? DAMN THAT BASTARD NINJA TO HELL!!! NOW NOT ONLY IS MY LITTLE TURTLEDOVE GRIEVING AND SUFFERING LIKE HELL, BUT NOW SHE HAS AN EATING DISORDER?!!? THAT'S IT! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!**_ Deidara inwardly exploded.

At the corner of his eye, he noticed the game Scrabble sitting on the recliner. Wait, Scrabble?

_**PERFECT! SCRABBLE! YOU'RE JUST WHAT I NEED! THANK YOU! I LOVE YOU!**_

"Hey! What are you doing little guy?" Tobi asked curiously.

Deidara crawled to the chair and brought the game down. All the chips spilled to the floor.

As fast as he could, he took a few chips and lined them up to try to form a word.

"Whoa, you're smart, kid! So what are you-" Tobi paused when he saw what the chips read.

"_I AM DEIDARA_".


	5. Finding Out

Baby Deidara-Chapter 5

Tobi stared with amazement as he looked down a the sentence the little baby had formed.

"Wait...you look like senpai...respond badly to Tobi...always so loving to Casana-chan...senpai strangely went missing...and...senpai? Is that really you?!"

BI_**FINALLY! SOMEONE FIGURED IT OUT! And it turns out to be the world's biggest idiot. Lovely.**_/B/I Deidara thought as he nodded his head.

"WHOA!! SENPAI!! YOU'RE ALIVE!!" Tobi picked him up and twirled him around happily. "Oh, this is awesome!! Tobi's so glad! Casana-chan will be so happy!! Tobi has to go tell the others! ...Oh wait, they're gone. Oh well! Tobi will wait!"

BI_**You hear that, Casana? I'm okay! You'll have a little surprise when you come home!**_/B/I

A few days later

"We're back!" Kisame called as the bunch came into the hideout, glad to be back.

"Oh! YAY!" Tobi squealed. "You hear that, senpai? They're back!"

BI_**I'm not deaf, Tobi. I heard! Now outta my way, I want to see my turtledove if you don't mind.**_/B/I

"Hey there, Dei!" Casana cooed as she came into the room, picking up the little blonde and kissed his cheek. "I missed you so much, sweetheart! Did you miss me?"

Deidara happily snuggled into her, nodding.

"Casana-chan!! Great news!" Tobi came bounding over. "The baby is really senpai!"

"What?!" Casana looked at him in surprise.

"Senpai got turned into a baby! Senpai is alive, he's right there!" Tobi squealed, pointing at Deidara.

BI_**YES! This is it, all our problems will be over now!**_/B/I

"...That's pretty cute, Tobi. I know you're trying to cheer me up, but I'm not stupid. You don't expect me to believe that, do you?" Casana suddenly said.

BI_**Say what?! No no no no! Casana! For once, Tobi is right! It's me! Damn, why couldn't it have been one of the smart guys who figured this out?!**_/B/I

"B-but Tobi..." Tobi began, and then faltered. "...never mind."

Walking off to her room, she sighed and hugged the little guy a bit tighter. "...I wish you were...if only."

BI_**It IS me, Casana! I swear. God, why can't I just change back already?! I'm sick and tired of making the woman I love suffer like this!**_/B/I

As they reached her room, he spotted a pad of notebook paper and a pen sitting on the bedside table. Getting an idea, he squirmed a little bit, asking to be put down.

"Oh, you want me to put you down? Okay sweetie!" Casana smiled a bit and put him down on her bed.

BI_**It's now or never! I'm going to let Casana know that it's me!**_/B/I Deidara thought as he crawled to get close to the bedside table, taking the paper and pen.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Casana went and sat down on the bed next to him.

Deidara wrote something down on the piece of notepad paper, Casana watched in amusement and confusion, wondering what he was doing. After he was done, he showed it to her, and her eyes widened.

It read: "I really am Deidara! Some ninja transformed me into a baby when I was on my way back here a week ago, and then you found me and took me back! My clothes got too big for me, that's why Sasori and Michelle found them discarded. It's really me! Art is a bang!"

Casana read over the note, astonished. She looked at Deidara, at the note, and then back at him, her eyes blinking and tears forming. "...Deidara? That's really you?"

Deidara smiled and nodded. BI_**Yes, it's me! You finally figured it out! I'm not dead, the baby is really me!**_/B/I

"So all this time...it was...it was you..." Tears ran down her face. "Oh Deidara!" She hugged him tightly, sobbing. "I'm so glad you're alive!"

BI_**It's okay now, you know it's me, and I'm okay!**_/B/IDeidara hugged her back happily.

"Oh God," Casana pulled back and wiped off her tears, smiling some more. "I can't believe it...it was you all along...you were alive all this time, thank goodness. I could just kiss the living daylights out of you now! But...hee hee, you're just a baby and I think everyone's going to think I'm a pedophile if they see me making out with a baby."

BI_**Not if they know it's me!**_/B/I Deidara let out a laughing noise and crawled onto her lap, steadied himself to stand up and kissed her on the lips and pulled back.

"Silly." She giggled, ruffling his blonde hair, a few tears going down her face. "I just wish I knew how to transform you back to your original self."

BI_**If I could get a hold of the information regarding that jutsu that bastard Ninja used, our problem would be solved!**_/B/I

"I guess I'll look into some-yes?" Casana looked at Deidara as he gently tapped her on the cheek to get her attention.

BI_**Use the Nentougan!**_/B/I Deidara pointed at her eyes, and then at his head.

"Oh...I think I see what you're trying to say." She nodded, and created a handseal, her eyes then turned pink.

BI_**If only you'd used that in the first place! But that's not your fault, I don't blame you for that. I just want you to know that I love you, and that I'll never ever leave you again. Seeing you suffer like you had been for the past week really just tore my heart, it brought me back to when we first met and you were sad. I don't want to see you sad anymore, you went through a lot, and I'll do anything I can to see a smile on your beautiful face.**_/B/IDeidara gave a smile and caressed her cheek with his tiny hand.

Smiling some more, Casana placed her larger hand over his and nodded. "I...I understand, Deidara. I love you too, and all you've done in my life was make me feel better than I could ever imagine. We've had tough times, but knowing you're in my life somehow, that makes me smile. I guess you really did see how much it tore me apart when I thought you were dead."

BI_**I sure did, and it really tugged my heartstrings, and I wanted to murder that **__**ninja who did this to me. But, I guess I would've felt the same way if you were taken away from me.**_/B/I

She smiled shakily and wiped off her tears. "Looks like we both feel that. Don't worry, we'll get you out of this somehow. I'll try to look into reversing jutsu effects, unless of course this one will wear off in a determined amount of time."

BI_**Let's do it! I want to be able to create my art again!**_/B/I

"Silly." She giggled, picking the blonde up and heading out to find some books.

However, after a few hours of looking through some books and scrolls, they found nothing.

"Nothing again." Casana sighed, putting another book aside. "This is just lovely."

BI_**Great, just great. I'm gonna be stuck like this forever!**_/B/I Deidara pushed a book aside and crossed his arms.

"C'mon, we need to go clear our heads. Shall we wash up?" Casana giggled, picking the little guy up.

BI_**Can we shower this time?**_/B/I

As though his wish were granted, they showered. Casana had luckily installed a rubber mat on the floor of the tub to prevent them both from falling.

"Having fun?" She giggled, looking down at him.

BI_**If I can stare at your naked body, then of course.**_/B/IDeidara nodded, looking up at her.

Right then, he felt an odd tingling within his body. It began to grow, and he felt himself expand. To his surprise, he slowly to began to grow, rising up from the bottom of the tub where he stood.

After a few moments, he was fully grown, back to his old self.

"Hey." Deidara said, pushing back his long blonde hair behind his shoulder.

"Hey...you're...you're back!" Casana cried happily, hugging him. "I'm so glad..."

Hugging her back, Deidara relished the feel of being able to hold her again like this, and glad to be back to his old self. On the other hand, it wasn't too bad being a baby. Then again, he was just glad to be back.

"You know Casana..." Deidara pulled back a bit and looked her with a lustful smirk. "I did catch sight of those...I_appealing_/I dreams you had..."

Casana blushed. "Uh...well...I...um..."

"And besides, you're a great mother." Deidara ran his hand along her hip, the palm mouth licking its tongue along her wet skin, then around to her sensitive area. "Let's make a baby of our own..." He whispered into her ear.

The brunnette moaned softly at the blonde's ministrations, melting into the bliss. She brought her arms around his neck and kissed his lips madly. He kissed back and brought her closer, continuing to pleasure her.

Needless to say, baby making actions were soon ensued.

A few weeks later

After the whole ordeal of Deidara being a baby passed through and everyone was over the initial shock that he was indeed alive all this time, things had gone back to normal, like nothing had happened.

Despite that, Deidara was teased a lot about having been a baby by a few of the other members.

But all in all, he was just glad to be back to normal.

One particular morning, Casana had once again went through an episode of morning sickness, as she sometimes had been on some mornings for the past few weeks. After vomiting, she was now regaining herself and brushing her hair in front of the mirror.

"Hey," Deidara came in and hugged her from behind. "Feeling all right?"

"Mm," Casana mumbled. "Deidara, I'm pregnant."

The news surprised the blonde right then. Although in a way he expected it, since they had done some of that stuff, but none the less, hearing your partner say that she's pregnant was always a bit of a surprise.

At the same time, he was really happy, and excited, but he managed to contain himself. Even if his inner self was jumping about for joy.

"Casana," Deidara hugged her tighter and kissed her sweetly on the cheek. "...I...I don't know what to say..."

"It's okay," She smiled and turned around in his embrace. "I bet you anything our baby will look like you did while you were a baby."

Deidara laughed at that. "Maybe it will all right." Unable to contain his happiness, he held her to him and kissed her lips, over and over and over.

Although the poor thing was being smothered in kisses, she sure as hell wasn't complaining! XD

After it was found out, Deidara then got an evil idea.

"Senpai! Heeeeyyy!!" Tobi chirped as he passed him.

"Tobi, you're stupid, ugly, weird, annoying, have no friends, even more stupid, unhelpful, a brat..." Deidara smirked, going on and on with every kind of insult and a stream of curses until the poor masked boy was sobbing. "Oh, and by the way, Casana's pregnant."

Sniffling, Tobi looked at him. "R-really?! Wow! That's great, senpai! Congratulations!"

"Thanks!" Deidara ran off.

"Hey Zetsu, by the way, did I ever mention that you suck?" Deidara grinned.

"What?" Zetsu glared.

"Your name should be Hannibal Lecter Jr.! Or maybe even Venus Flytrap!" Deidara went on and on and on until Zetsu was this close to devouring him. "By the way, Casana's pregnant!"

"Uh?" Zetsu blinked, faltering. "Oh, um...wow, congratulations."

"Hey Itachi! You're a fat, ugly, blind mole!"

"Care to repeat that...?"

"Casana's pregnant!"

"Oh. ...Good for her."

"Hey Leader! You suck so bad and you're ugly too!"

"Deidara, you had better be drunk."

"Casana's pregnant!"

"OO"

And that's how it went on. XD

The End

P.S. I'm sorry you guys for taking so long to update this, and this chapter sucked. I'm sorry. Please forgive me!


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